March 31, 2014 by Kira
From the Desk of the Modern Day Cindi: Inspired by the vulnerability of my husband and the safety and trust he finds in me as his wife the following words change EVERYTHING!
“Laying in her lap conveying my fears and pain, trusting her with the most emotionally naked parts of me.”
Emotionally Naked………WOW! When I first read it, I was speechless, honored, and humbled. That one sentence, said so much with just a few words. What I inferred and what was implied is undoubtedly the key that unlocks so many doors in my heart, especially my ability to give to him- equally vulnerable, emotionally naked, and SUBMISSIVE.
Now it would be totally improper to discuss marriage and not quickly stroll down the valley of that highly misinterpreted, fearfully misunderstood and consistently misapplied subject of SUBMISSION. Submission has turned into a foul word. Wives are taught that they must do it and husbands are taught to expect it, neither of which are untrue or errant (Ephesians 5:22). However, some women have been berated with it which has fostered fear and disdain and some men have used it as a battle axe and possibly a guilt mechanism. The issue carries so much weight that many have ran from the potential of a healthy marriage because of this stigma.
Submission was ordained! It should be a pillar of, and a bridge to, fruitful marriages giving deference to the hierarchy within the covenant of husband and wife. In some instances, what was purposed to create a path to freedom and trust, has equaled emotional confinement; what was designed to build homes has unintentionally broken them; and what was created to belt out harmony under God, has now hit mute notes and fell on deaf ears. Oooh Submission! I would classify it as a hurdle-not an impossible feat- that requires strengthening, flexibility, training, fearlessness and trust in the process. Submission is not slavery nor should it leave anyone voiceless, but because so much has been given away prematurely before marriage and wagered in matters of the heart before covenant is entered, some, if not all of our ability to operate in faith and total obedience to God’s plan is stifled and even lost. So how can women reach peace in submission and how can men partner to support God’s plan? My answer: There has to be Equality in vulnerability e.g. emotional nakedness.
Many women say that they want to be loved so hard that it makes them submit, in other words the love is so apparent that the negative stigma of submission is neither present nor relevant.
In Ephesians 5:21-28 (The Message) Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.
22-24 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing…25-28 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty.Submission should not be dreaded or hated… it should be welcomed as not a loss of control, but an opportunity that creates anew, it is not about bowing to a person but yielding control to the Lord as your leader. It is in this willing service, that your heart and mind are at peace which permits the barriers to vulnerability to come down allowing you to be “Emotionally Naked.”